January 17, 2011 § Leave a comment

whale watching season is upon us, did my 1st docent tour, it was one of those glorious winter clear crisp no fog see for miles days that after so many gray days so many gray days reminds one of horizons and sun light, refurnishes one with hope and willingness

and then there was coming up over the hill just past goat rock and looking out over the ocean

and then there were the whales, a pod of humpbacks out there and young grays closer in, perhaps one or two or three who have become resident rather than stragglers heading with some sort of purpose southerly, or heading north ahead of the gang as the adolescents have a wont to do

and the sea lion under the water, the light was shining through the curling wave just right you could see him surfing down the line

we are a motley bunch, the docents, not so much of an age as you might think, held together by a certain cast of spirit and awe

it is the awe that repopulates resets stokes as it were the passion ignites in me that willingness that wont to set out

and of course people asked have you seen any and when are they coming but, they also asked do they travel in groups and when are they sexually active and are they going north or south and there was laughter and cavorting and talking to strangers and children perilously close to the edge

not surprisingly I’m reading thousand mile song; david rothenberg, and for the moment there is talk about music in general and I came across george crumb talking about bravura, it sticks with me as that quality of courage and recklessness which adds up to a kind of fearlessness in the moment allowing one particular virtuosity–it is the bravura, that I am missing in ‘nuance’ as it sits, not so much the excellence but just that soupcon of passionandrisk one word otherwise known as heart that will take it over the top, you know,

how funny what I mean of course is, it is the bravura that I am missing

and at the same time that is really not true, it’s just scary–now that’s a chickenshit word if you ever heard one, when really I mean chilling or shuddery or awesome, yes there it is–it is awesome and whelming being on that precipice smart enough to know better trying something new that either will or won’t work and as george crumb might say falling flat on your face


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