the backwards and forwards of it all

September 18, 2013 § 1 Comment

IMG_0316

which is simply to say, the distance looking back to the first time i heard will you still need me will you still feed me is not as long as it was looking forward to the time when i would be

judi in workboots

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sweeet sorrow

September 19, 2006 § 3 Comments

yesterday was my brithday, was one of the those lovely all day long birthdays with my loving doting allsystems man of some let’s see 2006-1978 wow some 28 years, long enough that we forgot our anniversary last year, not that we don’t celebrate the us of us every day but that’s another story, anyway one of the sweetest parts was when my brother (ouryoungestbrother) phoned to sing me happy birthday just at the moment i was opening the package from them…and they made a card out of me on my birthday trike,

wow…don’t things circle back around on themselves, 57 and riding a trike again, ha!  it was topped off with a “lulu von judi” thankyou very much lulu from the underwood made with my birthday magelllan gin instead of junipero not to mention sharing it with lifelong friends and friends of friends and the people in our neighborhood that of course are even moreso community and there were flowers and a cake with candles and local champagne

the sorrow was, sigh, of course the absence of OurMother, the missing of her exuberant glee, when i phoned yesterday, Hi Ma, it’s judi today is my birthday, she said, oh yes, i knew there was something else about this day i wasn’t remembering…not that birthdays were one of her strong suits…there was my 30th birthday for instance where i, after an evening shift at st mary’s, returned home to our appt at the time in oakland and called her in winnipeg to wish her a happy birthday! i was drunk, we-ell tipsy shall i say, she was not amused…i thought it was perfect! anyway i missed her yesterday…had a sense of the gnarliness of this during my present to myself morning massage when she was wrestling the knot in my shoulder and i heard myself say, i’ve worked on that for ever and you want me to give it up in a moment…tapped right into the fundamental sense of loss here…wow–kept the knot, but one of my presents was another hour long massage so there’s hope…all in all it was a great success…anyway i’m finally old enough to wear pearls&overalls!

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